Beginning Weight: 256.5
Today's Weight: 179
I've called a halt to my 100-Day Very Low Carb Challenge, due to blood sugar issues. So my starting weight from now on, is going to be what I weighed in January 2007. When this whole serious low-carb journey began.
It's absolutely mind-blowing to me that the very basic principles of low-carb that are held onto so tightly by the low-carb community, do not fit my own experience with all of this.
Now maybe that's because we are all individuals, and react differently to various foods and macronutrients. But...when the very foundation you've been standing on for months, and even decades (since I first was introduced to Dr. Atkins and low-carb living way back in the 70s), is ripped out from beneath you, you kindda feel a bit let down.
Okay. What am I talking about? I'm talking about the fact that when you lower your carbs, you automatically lower your blood sugar, and thereby lower your insulin. Right?
WRONG.
Or, at least, that doesn't hold true if you lower your carbs down to biologically zero. Which makes me kindda mad, because to those of us who are sitting on the fence of pre-diabetes, that's very important information to have and KNOW "before" one embarks into zero carb territory.
Now...was that stuff withheld deliberately? No. The ignorance sits on both sides of the fence it seems. But still...one would think that sincerity of heart would keep the doors of discussion open enough to allow the facts to be revealed, without having to pry it outta someone.
That's not how it works though.
I lasted 5 weeks on zero carb. And even though my original intent wasn't to go that low, that's still what I ended up doing. Biologically zero carbs.
When I began that journey, my basal blood glucose was around 84. With my blood sugars not ever going up higher than 120 (even on as many as 100 to 150 carbs per day) provided I stayed away from gluten. I DID have problems before my gluten intolerance was discovered, but absolutely no problems since then. So I was of the mind-set that my problems were in direct relation to gluten sensitivity.
The first week without carbs I felt absolutely great. My energy increased, my sinuses improved, my digestion issues went away. My teeth felt cleaner, and the pain I was having in a broken tooth went completely away.
But after that first week things started to do an about face. Slowly, I started to go down hill. Starting with not feeling very well, and suddenly having to endure a lot of tiredness. Excessive tiredness. Which at first, I thought was just because my body had run out of glucose and was trying to convert to burning fatty acids predominantly.
At that time, I took my blood sugar, because I had one strip left. It was 98. Which shocked the crap outta me, not only because it had been hours since I'd last eaten, but because like I said I've always had basal levels of glucose in the lower 80s. Even when I was having issues before. And now I was staring at a number that fell in the upper 90s.
I tried to find information about that on one of the zero carb forums, but it seemed the greater majority of them all believe that when you cut out the carbs, insulin stays at basal levels so you have a flat line blood sugar curve. Or thereabouts. Rather than the one that performs the way textbooks say it should. So I thought, okay. As long as we don't cross the 100 marker, we're okay.
But then, after about a month, I started having SERIOUS issues. The Neuropathy had resurrected itself, and I started having heart palpitations. Not a good sign. Because it meant I was waaay above my blood glucose threshold.
BUT HOW COULD THAT BE????
I wasn't eating any carbs for heaven's sake. I was just eating meat and eggs. Insulin should be basal. Blood sugar should be low. But my body was telling me that it wasn't.
About that time, I read on one of the zero carb forums that Bear, the original zero-carb guru, had told folks that protein is not converted to glucose through gluconeogenesis except under starvation or emergency conditions, and that his blood sugar constantly ran in the 100s all of the time. That the goal of zero carb wasn't low blood sugar, but stable blood sugar.
At which time, I thought...SAY WHAT????
At a blood glucose level over 100, stable or not, insulin doesn't shut off! Because it sees that degree of blood glucose as a threat!
I started to get a sick feeling in my stomach, and basically stopped posting to that particular forum, because I wasn't so sure that I wasn't hurting myself by being there. However, I was thoroughly enjoying the thread on Frankenfoods, and how food/processed food addiction hurts your fat loss efforts and health, rather than helps it. And you can't read and participate in that thread unless you are a member of that forum.
Sooooo, I just kept silently reading. Reading everything about biochemistry that I could find on education websites. Everything on the Bloodsugar 101 website. Everything on the "Over 50s" thread, that was starting to reveal a lot of things that I was going through. From the gain of belly fat, to the rise in blood sugars.
During this time, I'd tried to get my hands on some more blood sugar strips, but our local Walmart was out of them. And they have this crazy policy where they don't order what they're out of. The distribution center just ships them when they are available and/or want to. Whichever. So I wasn't able to see what was going on for another 2 weeks.
When I finally got my hands on some strips, I'd been eating a few carbs daily (which had helped, but not stopped the heart palpitations and Neuropathy) because I was trying to get the heart palpitations under control. Plus the Neuropathy had spread from my feet up my legs, which meant I was doing some very serious damage to myself by staying zero carb.
My early morning fasting Blood Sugar on Friday morning: 120
I ate meat and eggs for breakfast, and meat for lunch
Just before eating dinner that day, my blood sugar was 103
One hour after a 12oz steak, my blood sugar was 155
At which time, I called a PERMANENT halt to my very low carb challenge, and zero carb way of eating. Irregardless of the claim that you need to stay the course for months, and sometimes years, in order to adapt to that way of eating, it isn't worth losing my leg.
So I'M DONE.
Still reading at the zero carb forums, though, still keeping up with the over 50s thread over there, (because I'm not going to go so far as to say that what's wrong for me is wrong for someone else), someone posted a link to a journal at the raw paleo forum -- someone who was having pretty much the same problem I was. Gaining fat around the belly. Higher than normal blood sugars, though not anywhere near as drastic as mine were.
So I've been reading the whole dang thing the past 2 days, wanting to figure out what is wrong with me. How to help me. And asking the question:
WHY DOESN'T LOW CARB AND/OR ZERO CARB WORK FOR ME?
What this person found was that sometimes it's a problem about eating too much fat. Sometimes it's a problem with eating too much protein. And sometimes it's a problem with eating too much food in general.
Okay. I'd already run the low-fat thing, and if that's it, I guess I'm just going to have to stay obsese. Because I'm not interested in starving the fat off of me. So the next thing I tried was cutting down on my protein. I cut it by 50% yesterday, because I wanted to clearly see, real quick like, if excess protein really is converted into glucose as they say.
I ate a normal low-carb breakfast of sausage and eggs. A few carbs for lunch, about 24, rather than protein. And a mixed dinner of a 4oz hamburger pattie and another 24 carbs.
My bloodsugar before dinner was 93
My bloodsugar one hour after dinner was 103
My bloodsugar two hours after dinner was 92
My bloodsugar three hours after dinner was 91
So protein most definitely is converted into glucose. No doubt about that. At least in MY body. But...I woke up in the middle of the night, about 3 am, extremely hungry. So cutting it down as much as I did was obviously too much. Plus I'm not beyond the idea that I ate too many carbs. But it did show me, that excess protein is definitely an issue.
Exactly how to handle that problem -- is now up in the air.
But I ran into an interesting post by someone who has type 1 Diabetes. She said she has to inject 8 units of insulin to cover a normal 12oz steak. Yet she only has to inject 3 units of insulin to cover a meal of 45 carbs.
Now that caught my attention, because it means that protein raises insulin HIGHER than carbs do!!!!
And that's exactly what I'm finding in myself. Now whether that is a different rule of the game because I have pre-diabetes, and am post-menopause, or whether that is true for everybody, I don't know. What I do know is that for me, carbs are not the bad guy. And that they affect my blood sugars way less than protein does.
WOW. WHO'D HAVE THUNK!!!
Sunday, July 5, 2009
Monday, June 22, 2009
Woke Up Sick This Morning
Starting Weight: 186.4
Today's Weight: 174.2
I woke up about 4 a.m. feeling pretty nauseated and thrashed. Discovered I was up another .6 of a pound which didn't help matters. That means I'm still bouncing and in another upward swing...yet again. Ugggh.
I also took my measurements. And discovered that in the past 2 days of doing 60% fat that I'd managed to undo everything I'd accomplished this past week. All of my fat was back.
SIGH...
When I first discovered zero carbs, it made soooo much sense to me, that I thought I'd found what I was looking for. But it's not turning out that way. At least...not so far. I'm not having any better luck than I did when I tried doing this a year ago, except that this time my weight is going down a bit (water? muscle?) rather than up.
I'm getting pretty discouraged. Because I'm TIRED of eating just meat. I'm TIRED of the bathroom issues. I'm TIRED of having to watch everyone eat things that I can't eat. As well as having to cook them. I'm TIRED of being tired, and I'm TIRED of feeling sick all the time.
Rant over....
Today's Weight: 174.2
I woke up about 4 a.m. feeling pretty nauseated and thrashed. Discovered I was up another .6 of a pound which didn't help matters. That means I'm still bouncing and in another upward swing...yet again. Ugggh.
I also took my measurements. And discovered that in the past 2 days of doing 60% fat that I'd managed to undo everything I'd accomplished this past week. All of my fat was back.
SIGH...
When I first discovered zero carbs, it made soooo much sense to me, that I thought I'd found what I was looking for. But it's not turning out that way. At least...not so far. I'm not having any better luck than I did when I tried doing this a year ago, except that this time my weight is going down a bit (water? muscle?) rather than up.
I'm getting pretty discouraged. Because I'm TIRED of eating just meat. I'm TIRED of the bathroom issues. I'm TIRED of having to watch everyone eat things that I can't eat. As well as having to cook them. I'm TIRED of being tired, and I'm TIRED of feeling sick all the time.
Rant over....
Sunday, June 21, 2009
How Things are Going
Starting Weight: 186.4
Today's Weight: 173.6
Weight is bouncing again, but that's because I've had to rethink what I was doing, and make a few changes. I'm pretty sure the trouble right now is that I've been too indoctrinated with the Kimkins and Rapid Fat Loss plans. When I told myself to lower my fat, rather than dropping from 80/20 ground beef to 85/15 ground beef, I went into automatic pilot and found myself trying to do tuna and chicken breast.
The tuna made me deathly ill by the way. Maybe because it was Albacore. I don't know. I don't generally eat that type, since it's loaded with mercury, but that's what I had on the shelf in my basement. I tried it twice this past week and got sick both times. So tuna, for now, is OUT.
I also found that whenever I ate chicken breast, whether it was just sauteed up in a pan plain, or marinated in a tbsp of gluten-free soy sauce, I was terribly hungry about 2 hours after eating. On friday, I tried adding a couple of teaspoons of bacon grease to the pan, and upping the amount from my typical 1/2 lb serving to 3/4 lb. It helped initially, I was very full when finished. But I still got hungry within 4 hours.
So it wasn't enough to get me through the afternoon.
Now that didn't exactly make sense, since I'd eaten chicken breast at our friend's house when we went there for dinner last Sunday and was very full all afternoon and into the evening. But then, chicken wasn't the only thing I ate. I also had salad with Ranch Dresssing and a large ear of corn with butter.
I've also been listening to my body this week throughout all of this, which is squirming a bit about the ground turkey I was feeding it. It doesn't want ground turkey, is says. It keeps asking where the ground beef is. Maybe because that is what it needs, and maybe because ground beef just tastes better than ground turkey. I don't know.
But I went into Fitday and started playing around with the numbers. I don't keep tract of everything that I eat every single day, but there was almost a dozen menus from the last month that I could draw on for statistics. I wrote it all down and averaged out my fat percentage. It came out to 63% fat by calories.
Now...I thought I was doing 60/40, which is why I was going to start messing with the numbers in the first place, and was quite surprised to discover I'd been eating more fat than I thought. However, I'm not yet convinsed that percentages is the way to go. They seem to be a bit relative, especially in terms of how much food someone is eating on any particular day.
For example, it doesn't matter how much ground beef you eat, if it's exactly the same type of beef, it still comes in at exactly the same fat to protein ratio. Even though you might be eating a ton of fat in grams. So I might have to take a closer look at fat grams themselves instead. I don't know yet.
For the record, the average fat grams per day I've been eating over the past month came in at 120 grams. About DOUBLE what I've been able to lose fat on before. So maybe that's the bigger problem. At least for us older folks.
So I played with Fitday yesterday and got my menu to work out exactly to 60/40. Course, it isn't real accurate as far as steak is concerned, there's just a generalized averaged beef steak to pick from. So I was kindda shooting in the dark. Plus I didn't eat lunch so I was pretty hungry by dinner time. I ate a full pound of steak, rather than 1/2 to 3/4 of a lb. The downside of which was that I put on a quarter of an inch in my belly.
My fat percentage average for the past week was 45%. This resulted in an inch being lost in my waist, and 3/4 of an inch in my belly. This morning, the inch was still gone from my waist, but I'd regained a 1/4 of an inch on my belly. So either I ate waaaay more fat yesterday than the 60% that Fitday claimed, or I really am going to have to watch my fat grams instead.
Gonna let this ride for at least today, zeroing in on that 60/40 percentage again, before I decide what I'm going to do. Since my official week doesn't start until tomorrow.
Today's Weight: 173.6
Weight is bouncing again, but that's because I've had to rethink what I was doing, and make a few changes. I'm pretty sure the trouble right now is that I've been too indoctrinated with the Kimkins and Rapid Fat Loss plans. When I told myself to lower my fat, rather than dropping from 80/20 ground beef to 85/15 ground beef, I went into automatic pilot and found myself trying to do tuna and chicken breast.
The tuna made me deathly ill by the way. Maybe because it was Albacore. I don't know. I don't generally eat that type, since it's loaded with mercury, but that's what I had on the shelf in my basement. I tried it twice this past week and got sick both times. So tuna, for now, is OUT.
I also found that whenever I ate chicken breast, whether it was just sauteed up in a pan plain, or marinated in a tbsp of gluten-free soy sauce, I was terribly hungry about 2 hours after eating. On friday, I tried adding a couple of teaspoons of bacon grease to the pan, and upping the amount from my typical 1/2 lb serving to 3/4 lb. It helped initially, I was very full when finished. But I still got hungry within 4 hours.
So it wasn't enough to get me through the afternoon.
Now that didn't exactly make sense, since I'd eaten chicken breast at our friend's house when we went there for dinner last Sunday and was very full all afternoon and into the evening. But then, chicken wasn't the only thing I ate. I also had salad with Ranch Dresssing and a large ear of corn with butter.
I've also been listening to my body this week throughout all of this, which is squirming a bit about the ground turkey I was feeding it. It doesn't want ground turkey, is says. It keeps asking where the ground beef is. Maybe because that is what it needs, and maybe because ground beef just tastes better than ground turkey. I don't know.
But I went into Fitday and started playing around with the numbers. I don't keep tract of everything that I eat every single day, but there was almost a dozen menus from the last month that I could draw on for statistics. I wrote it all down and averaged out my fat percentage. It came out to 63% fat by calories.
Now...I thought I was doing 60/40, which is why I was going to start messing with the numbers in the first place, and was quite surprised to discover I'd been eating more fat than I thought. However, I'm not yet convinsed that percentages is the way to go. They seem to be a bit relative, especially in terms of how much food someone is eating on any particular day.
For example, it doesn't matter how much ground beef you eat, if it's exactly the same type of beef, it still comes in at exactly the same fat to protein ratio. Even though you might be eating a ton of fat in grams. So I might have to take a closer look at fat grams themselves instead. I don't know yet.
For the record, the average fat grams per day I've been eating over the past month came in at 120 grams. About DOUBLE what I've been able to lose fat on before. So maybe that's the bigger problem. At least for us older folks.
So I played with Fitday yesterday and got my menu to work out exactly to 60/40. Course, it isn't real accurate as far as steak is concerned, there's just a generalized averaged beef steak to pick from. So I was kindda shooting in the dark. Plus I didn't eat lunch so I was pretty hungry by dinner time. I ate a full pound of steak, rather than 1/2 to 3/4 of a lb. The downside of which was that I put on a quarter of an inch in my belly.
My fat percentage average for the past week was 45%. This resulted in an inch being lost in my waist, and 3/4 of an inch in my belly. This morning, the inch was still gone from my waist, but I'd regained a 1/4 of an inch on my belly. So either I ate waaaay more fat yesterday than the 60% that Fitday claimed, or I really am going to have to watch my fat grams instead.
Gonna let this ride for at least today, zeroing in on that 60/40 percentage again, before I decide what I'm going to do. Since my official week doesn't start until tomorrow.
Wednesday, June 17, 2009
Some More Changes and Tweaks
Starting Weight: 186.4
Today's Weight: 173.8
I haven't been real good keeping this journal up to date, but that's because I've been spending a LOT of time in bed since I cut out the diet soda. Meniere's is waaaay worse than it was before. So it's been all I could do to just get through my job, and what little bit of shopping I needed to do. Not that I haven't been doing some online reading. Just haven't had the energy or clear mindset to post. Plus I've been having lots of asthma attacks lately too.
I didn't last very long without the diet soda. A week I think it was. I was using Club Soda to help me get through my addiction to the "fizz", but after a few days that started tasting too salty. I'm also finding that with zero carb, the taste buds seem to clear out some, and I'm using less seasonings as well. Everything tastes magnified.
We were supposed to go to a religious pageant a couple of cities over, last night. The owner of the Boys' Home and her kids are in it. But with the weather so bad, and me dizzy and nauseated, we decided to wait and see if there's a better weather day for me later on in the week. The weather report showed that Friday would be a much better day. But I dunno. Every day it seems that the forecast changes.
My weeks happenings were described in my other blog if you're interested in reading about that. Lots of changes and tweaks going on now. I'm back on the diet soda, and a bit of Splenda, but I'm going to try and lower my fat some, due to gaining this extra roll of belly fat at my waist line despite my zero carb diet.
So far, it seems to be working. As my weight today was down quite a bit. And the digital scale is showing fat loss now too.
I remember back when I was doing a Kimkins/Atkins mix that I found I would drop fat on the KK days, and maintain on the Atkins days. Which slowed my overall weight loss down considerably, but allowed my diet the healthy fat and extra calories that it needed too. So maybe I'm going to have to do something similar. Alternate low fat meals with higher fat meals to get a reduced overall fat percentage for the day. At least....that's what I'm trying this week.
Plugging my menus into Fitday have showed that I've been eating about 1800 calories with approxiamtely 60% fat, and 40% protein. So I'm going to try lowering the fat to 50% or so and see where I land from that.
Gotta figure out a way to get the fat to come off.
Today's Weight: 173.8
I haven't been real good keeping this journal up to date, but that's because I've been spending a LOT of time in bed since I cut out the diet soda. Meniere's is waaaay worse than it was before. So it's been all I could do to just get through my job, and what little bit of shopping I needed to do. Not that I haven't been doing some online reading. Just haven't had the energy or clear mindset to post. Plus I've been having lots of asthma attacks lately too.
I didn't last very long without the diet soda. A week I think it was. I was using Club Soda to help me get through my addiction to the "fizz", but after a few days that started tasting too salty. I'm also finding that with zero carb, the taste buds seem to clear out some, and I'm using less seasonings as well. Everything tastes magnified.
We were supposed to go to a religious pageant a couple of cities over, last night. The owner of the Boys' Home and her kids are in it. But with the weather so bad, and me dizzy and nauseated, we decided to wait and see if there's a better weather day for me later on in the week. The weather report showed that Friday would be a much better day. But I dunno. Every day it seems that the forecast changes.
My weeks happenings were described in my other blog if you're interested in reading about that. Lots of changes and tweaks going on now. I'm back on the diet soda, and a bit of Splenda, but I'm going to try and lower my fat some, due to gaining this extra roll of belly fat at my waist line despite my zero carb diet.
So far, it seems to be working. As my weight today was down quite a bit. And the digital scale is showing fat loss now too.
I remember back when I was doing a Kimkins/Atkins mix that I found I would drop fat on the KK days, and maintain on the Atkins days. Which slowed my overall weight loss down considerably, but allowed my diet the healthy fat and extra calories that it needed too. So maybe I'm going to have to do something similar. Alternate low fat meals with higher fat meals to get a reduced overall fat percentage for the day. At least....that's what I'm trying this week.
Plugging my menus into Fitday have showed that I've been eating about 1800 calories with approxiamtely 60% fat, and 40% protein. So I'm going to try lowering the fat to 50% or so and see where I land from that.
Gotta figure out a way to get the fat to come off.
Thursday, June 11, 2009
A Rain-Pounding Day
Beginning Weight: 186.4
Today's Weight: 174.8
Today began well enough, except I was extremely exhausted. Didn't really want to get outta bed this morning. So I forced myself to get up somewhere around 7, then fried myself up an 8oz hamburger patty for an early breakfast.
I usually keep my eye open for marked down hamburger meat at the small grocery store a few blocks passed Walmart, bring it home, and make it into 8oz patties. I then place them in zip-lock baggies and freeze. That way, not only are they the perfect size, but I don't have to thaw them out before cooking them if I don't want too. VERY convenient. Especially since ground turkey patties, Jennie-O I think they are, have gone up higher in price at Walmart than the marked down meat at Kent's.
The food helped a little, but not all that much. I'm sure it's the lack of caffeine in the diet soda finally catching up with me. But it could also just be the weather. Plus I "feel" very dehydrated. So I plan on drinking a bit more water today.
Work went well. I made the kids a bunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and some tomato soup to dunk them in. But was waaay too tired to do much for dinner. Just thawed them out a couple of pounds of hamburger meat for a batch of spaghetti. Which I left for them to cook up themselves. I don't always do that anymore, because we're having trouble with the staff figuring out reasonable portions lately, but I just didn't feel well today.
So after a couple of hours, I came home. I threw some chicken wings in the toaster oven to cook, then took off to the next town over to get some gas. Prices are going up again, uggggh. Fifteen dollars only filled the tank a little passed half-way. But I didn't know if my hubby was going to get paid today or not, and didn't want to spend too much until I know how much money I have to work with this pay period.
I debated with myself, whether or not to go to Walmart. I really didn't feel like it, but my lips are chapped and the type of Chapstick I'm currently using isn't working. I really needed the medicated type, so Walmart won.
The owner of the Boys' and Girls' home was there. We talked for a little bit, and she said that the Project Manager had decided to just keep the Boys' Home, but is going to use the Girls' facility. That pretty much leaves her out in the cold. She has decided to just let the whole thing go though. She really does feel like the Project Manager took advantage of her, even though SHE is the one who went off on a tangent, and turned in a 30-day notice to the state. And the Project Manager is just trying to figure out how to help us survive all of this.
It's kind of a difficult situation to be in, since I DO need to be able to keep my job if possible. Without that coming between us. And it looks like it isn't going to. She asked me if I'd be willing to drive the 1/2 hour to Manti every day just to cook, and I told her yes. I "would" be interested in doing that. Since my husband's boss is talking about bankruptcy, it might be the only thing that keeps our head above water next winter, yet again. So she told me to let the Project Manager know that I was interested.
WOW. I didn't expect her to do, or say that.
I came home, ate some lunch, and headed for the computer, but it was only a little bit before the vertigo completely overwhelmed me. I ended up in bed for most of the afternoon. However, I did manage to put some turkey legs into the oven on a very low heat, so I wouldn't have to worry about dinner later on.
I woke up to a very hard, pounding kindda rain. Wind blowing pretty hard. I didn't want to get up, but I remembered that I'd left a couple of small potted flower outside that I haven't repotted for the summer yet. So I had to get up and rescue them. As long as I was up, I started making dinner. Some fried potatoes and home-frozen corn on the cob to go with the turkey.
I still wasn't feeling very well for dinner, so I only ate a little bit. Maybe I'll feel better later and want more to eat, and maybe I won't. I don't know. I did have to take a meclizine today. Haven't had to do that for a while now. But then, it hasn't rained as hard and long as it did today, even though the weather's been crazy here lately. Usually a lot of dark, black clouds, high humidity, with all of that in-and-out stuff so typical for this time of year.
Actually, it's continued waaaaay longer than normal this year. It's almost mid June. It should be stark-raving HOT by now. Oh well. Maybe that means we'll have a longer growing season this year. That would be wonderful, since it's the first garden I've planted in a couple of years now.
Kind of ironic that I have this urge to garden this year, when I'm now eating zero-carb, but that's just the way it goes sometimes I guess.
Today's Weight: 174.8
Today began well enough, except I was extremely exhausted. Didn't really want to get outta bed this morning. So I forced myself to get up somewhere around 7, then fried myself up an 8oz hamburger patty for an early breakfast.
I usually keep my eye open for marked down hamburger meat at the small grocery store a few blocks passed Walmart, bring it home, and make it into 8oz patties. I then place them in zip-lock baggies and freeze. That way, not only are they the perfect size, but I don't have to thaw them out before cooking them if I don't want too. VERY convenient. Especially since ground turkey patties, Jennie-O I think they are, have gone up higher in price at Walmart than the marked down meat at Kent's.
The food helped a little, but not all that much. I'm sure it's the lack of caffeine in the diet soda finally catching up with me. But it could also just be the weather. Plus I "feel" very dehydrated. So I plan on drinking a bit more water today.
Work went well. I made the kids a bunch of grilled cheese sandwiches and some tomato soup to dunk them in. But was waaay too tired to do much for dinner. Just thawed them out a couple of pounds of hamburger meat for a batch of spaghetti. Which I left for them to cook up themselves. I don't always do that anymore, because we're having trouble with the staff figuring out reasonable portions lately, but I just didn't feel well today.
So after a couple of hours, I came home. I threw some chicken wings in the toaster oven to cook, then took off to the next town over to get some gas. Prices are going up again, uggggh. Fifteen dollars only filled the tank a little passed half-way. But I didn't know if my hubby was going to get paid today or not, and didn't want to spend too much until I know how much money I have to work with this pay period.
I debated with myself, whether or not to go to Walmart. I really didn't feel like it, but my lips are chapped and the type of Chapstick I'm currently using isn't working. I really needed the medicated type, so Walmart won.
The owner of the Boys' and Girls' home was there. We talked for a little bit, and she said that the Project Manager had decided to just keep the Boys' Home, but is going to use the Girls' facility. That pretty much leaves her out in the cold. She has decided to just let the whole thing go though. She really does feel like the Project Manager took advantage of her, even though SHE is the one who went off on a tangent, and turned in a 30-day notice to the state. And the Project Manager is just trying to figure out how to help us survive all of this.
It's kind of a difficult situation to be in, since I DO need to be able to keep my job if possible. Without that coming between us. And it looks like it isn't going to. She asked me if I'd be willing to drive the 1/2 hour to Manti every day just to cook, and I told her yes. I "would" be interested in doing that. Since my husband's boss is talking about bankruptcy, it might be the only thing that keeps our head above water next winter, yet again. So she told me to let the Project Manager know that I was interested.
WOW. I didn't expect her to do, or say that.
I came home, ate some lunch, and headed for the computer, but it was only a little bit before the vertigo completely overwhelmed me. I ended up in bed for most of the afternoon. However, I did manage to put some turkey legs into the oven on a very low heat, so I wouldn't have to worry about dinner later on.
I woke up to a very hard, pounding kindda rain. Wind blowing pretty hard. I didn't want to get up, but I remembered that I'd left a couple of small potted flower outside that I haven't repotted for the summer yet. So I had to get up and rescue them. As long as I was up, I started making dinner. Some fried potatoes and home-frozen corn on the cob to go with the turkey.
I still wasn't feeling very well for dinner, so I only ate a little bit. Maybe I'll feel better later and want more to eat, and maybe I won't. I don't know. I did have to take a meclizine today. Haven't had to do that for a while now. But then, it hasn't rained as hard and long as it did today, even though the weather's been crazy here lately. Usually a lot of dark, black clouds, high humidity, with all of that in-and-out stuff so typical for this time of year.
Actually, it's continued waaaaay longer than normal this year. It's almost mid June. It should be stark-raving HOT by now. Oh well. Maybe that means we'll have a longer growing season this year. That would be wonderful, since it's the first garden I've planted in a couple of years now.
Kind of ironic that I have this urge to garden this year, when I'm now eating zero-carb, but that's just the way it goes sometimes I guess.
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
Oh Boye...Confrontation!
Beginning Weight: 186.4
Today's Weight: 175.2
Work has been going smoothly, except that the social workers haven't been removing any of the kids, yet, so the owner of the company came stomping in with her business partner, mad as hell. The kids were gone at the time, I don't know where, but she said that she was there for a confrontation with the Project Manager. That the Project Manager had called up all of the social workers and told them he was taking over the company on the 1st, and that's why the kids weren't being removed.
Her gripe was that they were being taken advantage of, because as long as the kids are in the home, she and her partner have to keep supporting them.
Whooooe!!!
It erupted into one big showdown. Because a lot of this, as it turned out, was just their imagination of what was going on -- and not anywhere near the truth.
Apparently, the Project Manager had simply sent an email to all of the social workers and told them he was opening up 2 new businesses on the 1st of July, and that he needed placements. He didn't tell them not to take away the current kids. He only advised them that even though the current owner was going out of business, he was going to open 2 facilities thereafter, and needed kids for placement.
If the social workers aren't removing the kids, it has nothing to do with the Project Manager. As the current contract gives those workers 30 days in which to do that.
I was fixing lunch for the boys at the time and was just flabbergasted at it all. Because when they first came through the door, the owner was talking like this knowledge she had of the Project Manager's dishonesty was FACT. And as the discussion went on (the confrontation took place in the dining room right in front of me), it became obvious that the idea of wrong doing was coming from "perspective". Not truth.
Soooooo everything is back up in the air again, because the owner's partner kept saying that HE probably jumped a gun with all of this, and didn't want to lose a good thing. So to me, it sounded like he was backpedaling their position, and was having second thoughts about how to go around handling the situation. The bank didn't come through with the money the Project Manager applied for this past Friday though. But it isn't dead yet. He's supposed to hear today.
If that fails, he will HAVE to go out and find himself some financial backers. And that might take time. So it still boils down to whether or not the current owners are willing to give him that or not. One thing is for sure, after listening to all of this, and watching the owner and her partner try to PRESSURE the Project Manager into COMMITTING to "signing papers" about taking over the business on the first of July, (even though the Project Manager clearly stated his lawyer won't allow him to do that without having the finances or backing first), I'm just totally blown away at the way things are being handled.
Gosh, you never do really know your friends....do you???
Today's Weight: 175.2
Work has been going smoothly, except that the social workers haven't been removing any of the kids, yet, so the owner of the company came stomping in with her business partner, mad as hell. The kids were gone at the time, I don't know where, but she said that she was there for a confrontation with the Project Manager. That the Project Manager had called up all of the social workers and told them he was taking over the company on the 1st, and that's why the kids weren't being removed.
Her gripe was that they were being taken advantage of, because as long as the kids are in the home, she and her partner have to keep supporting them.
Whooooe!!!
It erupted into one big showdown. Because a lot of this, as it turned out, was just their imagination of what was going on -- and not anywhere near the truth.
Apparently, the Project Manager had simply sent an email to all of the social workers and told them he was opening up 2 new businesses on the 1st of July, and that he needed placements. He didn't tell them not to take away the current kids. He only advised them that even though the current owner was going out of business, he was going to open 2 facilities thereafter, and needed kids for placement.
If the social workers aren't removing the kids, it has nothing to do with the Project Manager. As the current contract gives those workers 30 days in which to do that.
I was fixing lunch for the boys at the time and was just flabbergasted at it all. Because when they first came through the door, the owner was talking like this knowledge she had of the Project Manager's dishonesty was FACT. And as the discussion went on (the confrontation took place in the dining room right in front of me), it became obvious that the idea of wrong doing was coming from "perspective". Not truth.
Soooooo everything is back up in the air again, because the owner's partner kept saying that HE probably jumped a gun with all of this, and didn't want to lose a good thing. So to me, it sounded like he was backpedaling their position, and was having second thoughts about how to go around handling the situation. The bank didn't come through with the money the Project Manager applied for this past Friday though. But it isn't dead yet. He's supposed to hear today.
If that fails, he will HAVE to go out and find himself some financial backers. And that might take time. So it still boils down to whether or not the current owners are willing to give him that or not. One thing is for sure, after listening to all of this, and watching the owner and her partner try to PRESSURE the Project Manager into COMMITTING to "signing papers" about taking over the business on the first of July, (even though the Project Manager clearly stated his lawyer won't allow him to do that without having the finances or backing first), I'm just totally blown away at the way things are being handled.
Gosh, you never do really know your friends....do you???
Saturday, June 6, 2009
Starting Weight: 186.4
Today's Weight: 178.2
My weight is holding steady today, and I seem to be doing okay without a diet soda for breakfast. A bit tired, but then I've been pretty tired for the past week, ever since I tried adding a bit of mayo to my limited food choices, so I wouldn't be honest if I were to try blaming the tiredness on the lack of caffeine this morning.
I took a hula hoe after breakfast, and disrupted the weeds that are trying to make a come-back in the garden. It was a bit difficult for me, since the vertigo has basically returned this past week. But I was bound and determined not to stop until I'd finished. So that's taken care of now, at least for the next few days.
The weather is still sunny in the morning, and cloudly and overcast in the afternoons. Rain and stuff. So I'm still not feeling too awful well. But that should soon pass, and give way to summer.
Today's Weight: 178.2
My weight is holding steady today, and I seem to be doing okay without a diet soda for breakfast. A bit tired, but then I've been pretty tired for the past week, ever since I tried adding a bit of mayo to my limited food choices, so I wouldn't be honest if I were to try blaming the tiredness on the lack of caffeine this morning.
I took a hula hoe after breakfast, and disrupted the weeds that are trying to make a come-back in the garden. It was a bit difficult for me, since the vertigo has basically returned this past week. But I was bound and determined not to stop until I'd finished. So that's taken care of now, at least for the next few days.
The weather is still sunny in the morning, and cloudly and overcast in the afternoons. Rain and stuff. So I'm still not feeling too awful well. But that should soon pass, and give way to summer.
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